That's why!!

I mentioned in my last post that I knew my Father would help me through but wondered why the anxiety was still so bad even though I knew it. We heard at gospel meeting tonight that we have a tendency to try and train our human nature to be divine but flesh is enmity against our Father. So it's impossible to train human nature to be divine. Divine nature is the nature of heaven. Our Father gives us the divine nature. Hope that makes sense! I very much feel like I've been trying to train my human nature to handle my anxiety as a divine nature instead of letting my Father help me handle the anxiety with the divine nature He gives.

I'm pretty sure the severity of the anxiety is hormonal based so it'll be a constant fight to stay on top of but I was very thankful for the revelation tonight and what the answer is. Another thing that we heard that I liked was don't worry about disciplining the human mind but allow our Father to work the divine nature into us. Along the same line, just worded more cleanly then what I said above! :)

Tough times

This last week has been pretty ridiculous! The anxiety has been bad this last week. Unfortunately it hit hard last night, glad I felt it coming and made sure a small trash can was next to the bed!!! UHG! Kind of a perfect storm, loss of 3 clients over the last month due to varying circumstances out of my control. Closed business, lying client and another that I'm quite frankly glad to see go (couldn't keep an appointment time at all and it was tough to get info from). Add to that the worry of paying monthly insurance next year and Christina asking things about Dave and re-awaking old memories and holiday time of year coming. (I'm not upset about the questions but none the less it's part of the equation) I'm also at a transition point in my business. Erika is supposed to come on the first of the year so I need to get out and network more to build the business and come up with some procedures so things don't get out of control. When I list all those things I guess it's somewhat understandable on a natural level to be in royal overwhelm mode!

I KNOW that I'll get through it with my Father's help! But for some reason, even though I know that, the anxiety is horrible right now. Does menopause hit some ladies that way??? So far frustration due to menopause isn't too bad, expect for a brief incident today. A friend came over yesterday and we had a really good talk about my business and what to do about getting out and networking and procedures to prepare. And then to have a stomach rebel after such a good talk! (mutter!) :)

The good things that have happened... Christina is getting better and better! I have one senior client and she's exactly what I was looking for! She even understands why I charge what I do! (She was a bookkeeper in her working days and had her own business!). I got a payroll from being with the BBB and helped another lady with her QuickBooks problems from another form of advertising (Neighborhood Notes). So there's definitely good to go with the bad. Interesting how we tend to focus on the bad and not the good!!! Also interesting that I got a note from a worker this week about storms and my friend called me and told me a hymn was going through her mind and she felt the need to call me...All through the storm Lord I see thy face.... Love the encouragement that comes when we need it the most! And I picked raspberries today! They're soooo yummy!

Bobbie (Mother-in-law), Blake, Erika, Teagan, and Scarlett came for dinner tonight. The girls are sooo cute and adorable! So it was a good afternoon!