Compassion....

That word popped into my mind the other night when I was praying. I think this last week has shown me what I really need to work on.  For those I've known for a LONG time, that seems to be last thing on my mind in certain circumstances!  My Father has had soooo much compassion on me, why can it be so hard to show it to those I love? After all I've really pulled some doozy's and yet I KNOW my Father is still helping me and the only reason that'd be is because of He's showing me compassion.  People get older, time goes by. It's interesting to watch people age. For the most part life is a full circle, we start out being helpless and our parents caring for us, if you live long enough by the end of life you're being cared for as you cared for your children. Unfortunately in that aging many things come back up and there doesn't seem to be as much control of the tongue, then my back goes up with some of what's said and as a result I don't show the spirit I need to. I NEED to be a proper example.

For those who check in now and again, thank you! And I apologize for my venting!

And on a completely separate subject, I've got to say that Erika is a very beautiful lady when's she's pregnant! :) Of course she is otherwise but even more so now! Time's getting soooo close!  

Combating Negativity

I was so thankful for the reminder today that our Father is a just Father.  I'm very thankful for friends that are strong spiritually that help me keep my head on straight! When you're in the middle of the situation it is much too easy to lose sight of what's important. The door has been open to the devil and it's hard to get control back!! I went into mama bear mode this morning and got very frustrated. I requested my daughter be left out of the middle of everything and find out this evening that that didn't happen, she's being told things that she really doesn't need to/shouldn't have to hear. This person is simply very negative and with all that we're dealing with at the moment that's the last thing Christina or I need to be listening to! Unfortunately there's not a lot I can do... 4 1/2 days left. That's not true there really is something I can do. I need to pray and really get close to my Father and get the strength to be the example I need to be in this house.  I'm so thankful that Christina is the type of kid she is or she could be really be rebelling.  I really don't know how to handle someone who has been so negative all their life and seems (for the most part) to only communicate using negativity. If you're not careful that negativity can be catching! Not a lot of talking goes on because I've put my foot down I won't listen to it anymore. So sad! If anybody has dealt successfully with it and wants to pass on suggestions, I'm open to them!

In other news. We're in the 30 day wait period now for divorce proceedings. We've got to post it and give him time to contact us. In some ways i wish Dave would show up to a least acknowledge his kids and mother. That's flesh and blood. I really struggled with this step because I don't believe in divorce but I do need to get stuff into my name so it can be dealt with down the road and divorce is the only way to cleanly do that. It does mention that the unbeliever if they want to go should be let go. That verse didn't become real to me until this last year. Why try to hang on when all it would cause is agony for everyone involved? It's taken a while to get to the being willing to really let go but I think I'm getting there now! I believe in being honest with myself. There's so much growth spiritually that really in the end I do believe that my Father allowed this to happen because it would allow so much more spiritual growth and could be used for a lot of good. Now I need to make sure that I allow that to happen each and I pray that my kids allow that to happen.

Erika is due with her baby next month. She's getting soooo close! I still find it hard to believe that I'll be a grandma real soon. I REALLY don't feel old enough to be a grandma! :)  Teagan Harper is her first and middle name and it's sounding like she's going to be a long baby. Erika's poor ribs are getting a beating! Sorry for such a long post but much to get off my chest tonight!

Onward and Upward!

So glad a major hurdle is crossed! Yesterday would have been our 18th wedding anniversary. I find it so interesting how the day of the 'hard' day I'm actually okay but it's the days leading up to it that aren't so okay. Yesterday I was so productive it wasn't funny. It actually felt really good because it's been a struggle the last month to be productive! More major hurdles are coming this year as our lives and circumstances change but two down and ? to go. :)

It's been very heavy on my mind how lucky we are here in the U.S.! Although sometimes I wonder if we're really lucky or not!! There's so much that we have the we take for granted, unfortunately I feel that it also distracts us from the really important things in our spiritual life. I desperately need to condense down a lot of what I have. And it's not just the physical stuff. I've been giving thought to actually discontinuing Facebook but I'm know that's part of my business advertising so to speak. So I guess it boils down to having self control and only using it for business! How is it some of this stuff just sucks you in? There's way too much that we have access to that is time eaters and soul eaters! Something to really work on and focus on changing!

Another step

So much thanks to some dear sweet ladies that helped me today! I went through some more of Dave's stuff today and got some file cabinets cleaned out. Seeing his writing on everything was tough but it sure helps having some there with you! But it's done!! As I was told, you only need to go through the file cabinets once! We then got my office area straightened out a bit and slightly rearranged! It's amazing what just a little bit of rearranging can do to a room. 

To make it an up day I got another call today that stands a good chance of turning into another client! Being on the internet finally paid off! Pretty exciting!!  I've got to say... I'm starting to enjoy my networking more and more. Only problem is I have to make time for the work I'm getting do to that networking!!

Less then two months and I'll be a grandma!! Can hardly wait!! And Erika can hardly wait! :)