Getting perspective

I've had some struggles with anxiety recently with so much going on that I really have no control over. Talking with one of my aunts yesterday I realized that there are a least 4 major emotional things going on and it was no wonder there was anxiety. This morning when I woke up I then realized the reason the anxiety was trying to build so high was because I was trying to handle most of it myself. I should know after this last year and half that that doesn't work but it is absolutely amazing how subtly it happens. Yes there's a lot going on and humanly speaking it's perfectly normal for the anxiety to get bad, but when I have a Father that is there to step in and help me through there's no reason for the anxiety to get to where it was at. I love the help that my Sunday morning meeting was. Each has their struggles but there is so much spiritual help there because of those struggles. The biggest thing that we heard about and I need to work on is simple submission. I think I've mentioned in previous post about not taking back what I've given to my Father to handle. Well apparently I needed that reminder because that's what's happened in the recent weeks.  That's not submission, that's deciding that I want to do it my way and I'm to impatient to wait for my Father's will to be done. Here's another thought I've enjoyed the last couple of days from some notes I read. Sometimes we are overcome with laziness spiritually, that laziness looks like unwillingness but in reality it's not enough love. If I really love my Father and his son then I will WANT to do what's needed because when you love somebody you're willing to do whatever  is needed.

Then to really bring everything into perspective my brother called today and one of his friends has a husband (soon to be ex) that is in jail, and yesterday her 16 year old son committed suicide. I can't begin to imagine what that lady must be going through and it makes everything that I'm going through seem so insignificant. More perspective that I needed. Just as you think you've got it bad you hear something that makes you realize that it could be so much worse. I can't imagine losing one of my kids to suicide.

We all have our battles to go through. Some of them will be big life altering battles. This last year and half has hopefully been the one big life altering battle I'll have. Others will be small battles, am I going to get up early enough to gather spiritual thoughts to pull me through the day? or will I chose to sleep a little longer? A small battle but you know, in the end that could also be a life altering battle depending on what happens that day. Each battle fought and won with eternity in mind will get us closer and closer to the goal. A thought my cousin shared last Sunday, our souls will CRAVE the things of our Father when we pass to eternity just as our body craves the things of this earth while we're yet alive. We deny the natural craving of earthly things and allow spiritual work to be done instead and our souls craving in eternity will be forever fulfilled. I guess I'd better leave it at this!  (Still no contact)