Life's a journey.....

In building my business I've done so much networking this last couple of months that technically I should be overflowing with work in another couple of months. Only problem is is that in this economy it takes a lot more work networking wise to get a business to the thriving point then it use to. People just aren't as willing to set aside money for even basic things like bookkeeping. But I really feel my Father's hand in guiding my life even business wise. It's amazing some of the connections I've made due to networking.  Even admist my now very busy life, there's still many times that I wonder where my husband is and what he's up to. Is he safe, is he well? I have a feeling that will pop up a lot over the years. I'm hoping it won't take that long for us to find out what happen though! Life is a journey but I have to say I feel like I've made a lifetime journey in one year this year!!

I also have the absolute best 16 year old daughter anyone could ask for! She's an awesome kid! She has her struggles without a doubt but she's so loving and caring. This has been rough year for her emotionally but she's pulling through. She's doing well in school and has found an outlet in art and painting. I think that art has really helped her this year. As for my older daughter... She's engaged now! More news on that front in a little bit! But she's doing really well. 

In sitting here and typing this I'm pondering the journey of this last year. It's so real to me that our Father has a purpose for each of us. It's up to us if we're willing for that purpose or not, He allows us to make that choice. But you know, our Father actually already knows what our decision is going to be. He knows our thoughts and the purpose in our heart. I can see where I was being prepared for Dave's decision. I was being made stronger, our minds were being prepared to accept what was going to happen. It sounds odd but looking back I can see where that happened. It's still been a very hard year but I believe having spiritual strength has made it a much easier journey when all is said and done. Our decisions effect those around us and I want to make sure I'm staying close to my Father so that the decisions I make would be according to his will and as result be a help and a comfort to those around me.

Exciting news... :)

I start a new job tomorrow. I'll be entering 2008-current financial information. And then it'll turn into a small monthly job. Also this week I have an expo that'll I'll be in since I just joined the Gresham Chamber. It's for all the new chamber members. I'm picturing a shoe box and a plastic grocery bag with receipts in them and then an organized folder system as my display. Not sure how you display bookkeeping!! I've got my regular business brochures now and senior bookkeeping brochures as well as business cards so I think I'm set! They're thinking that there could be as many as 400 people coming through. I hope I have enough brochures and cards! I also meet a possible new client tomorrow. Step by step it's looking up! We can get so impatient but our Father has perfect timing and I have to keep reminding myself of that!

Update on our life...

I've been wanting to write a post for a bit but never seem to have the time! Life is getting on a fairly even keel. I will say I'll be glad when the next couple of months are over and the 'first' are done! I've said this before but it's still amazing to me how your sub conscience is so aware and kicks anxiety in before your even consciencely aware of what's coming! We've heard absolutely nothing over the months. I believe he's alive but that's simply a personal belief with absolutely nothing to support it. We sure have appreciated the support and prayers!

I've been working very hard at getting my business up and going and am seeing some nibbles. Lots of networking is being done! I pretty much beat Christina out the door most mornings (at least 3 out of the 5) going to those networking meetings. And she's typically out by 7:20. But in the end that's what builds business! Then lots of one on one meetings with people I've met at the networking meetings. I'm a pretty reserved person naturally speaking so this has been quite a change for me! So with all of this, hopefully nibbles will turn into gobbles!! :)  For quite a while I struggled with what I was doing, was I headed in the right direction or not??? Should I keep pursuing my business or just find a 'job'?? I felt like God wanted me where I was but was getting pretty discouraged with what I saw as lack of progress. Right after our church conventions I had this 'AH HA' moment. I wanted to try and help seniors, I had a bookkeeping business, Help seniors with bookkeeping!! I did it for my grandma for years and am semi-helping my parents, I have the experience. Interestingly enough, ever since, it's felt like things are falling into line. Can't say I'm making the money yet but it really feels like i'm headed in the right direction. I love the assurance we get along the way from our Father. My biggest hope at this point is that those that I'm around when I'm networking and dong jobs will see our Fathers Spirit in me and as a result see something that they want. I don't believe in 'preaching' to everybody but I pray that the life I live will do that for me. If I keep Him first then everything WILL work together for good!

Erika is now engaged!!! She just gave me the news today. So sometime next year my oldest daughter will be married! Wow, so hard to believe!

Habits....

It's become quite real to me this time how ingrained habits can be, ingrained to the point of us not even realizing it! This month I couldn't figure out why the anxiety that had been gone for a little suddenly showed back up. Dave's birthday is this month but not until the end of the month. I realized though that this is when we'd start really pushing him for what he wanted for his birthday. My subconscious mind remembered that and triggered that anxiety of another broken routine. I'm learning to cope with the anxiety better now, at least once I figure out the root cause of it! It got me to thinking of other habits that we form and aren't even aware of anymore because they are so ingrained. How many habits are hindering my spiritual growth? I need to do some serious looking at my daily routines, weekly routines etc. They could even be routines that happen only at certain times of the year, as with the 'firsts' that we're dealing with this year. This is a year of really huge changes and I want to use those changes grow stronger spiritually. Am so thankful we have a Father that we can ask for help from, a Father that will give us strength if we're willing to ask. A Father that will make it possible for me to continue to grow spiritually and have inner peace even in the worst of times.

A dear friend gone....

About a week and half ago a dear friend passed away. She was only 35. It sure helps bring into perspective even more the saying "You never know what tomorrow will bring". In her case there are no more tomorrows. No more time to make sure that the life lived is what would be acceptable to our Father. No more time to live a life that would bring salvation. In her case there's no doubt in my mind that she loved our Father, that she received salvation. There was almost always a smile on her face. Life didn't necessarily bring her what she wanted, I know there were some things she wanted but just weren't meant to be. So she lived for others, and especially kids. She was a special, special lady and has left an even deeper longing in my heart to draw closer and closer to our Father. That's what life is about.

Bit Better....

Life is continuing on. Overall it hasn't been too bad at all. There are just those days that are a bit harder then others. I've pretty much reached the point that although I love and care for Dave, I'm a lot more worried about him for his souls sake. I don't really mind if we ever get together just that he comes around spiritually to where our Father can work on him. We've been on our own for close to 7 months now and are building a new life, so if he were to decide to make contact but not come back home I think we'd be okay. Especially if he isn't interested in meetings. It'd be hard, I know that, but after this long on our own it'd be okay. I just love the way it has all worked out though. Looking back over the last months, and even before that, I can see the our Father's hand in our lives. The preparing so to speak before Dave left and just the guiding and comforting since. There's a verse I've really appreciated this last week in 1 John. "Perfect love casts out fear" to know I can go through life without fear because I have a Father that knows exactly what I need and when I have complete love and trust in Him then those needs (not wants) will be taken care of. No fear wondering where life is going to take me because I know that whatever happens is for the best. It's in our human nature to worry though, wonder when the jobs are coming in (very slowly trickling in, maybe a new client tomorrow?). It's a fight against the human nature, but with prayer it's doable!

We heard tonight that He doesn't save us from the experience but IN the experience. Daniel was put in the den of lions (the experience) but the mouth of the lions was closed (saved IN the experience). We need to go through experiences to grow spiritually. We won't know the power of our Father unless we go THROUGH experiences, then He can show us His power. But we need to pray for that help, acknowledge we need it.

Convention season is just around the corner and I'm so looking forward to it. So thankful for those who have stayed faithful and for the examples set.

4th of July

18 years ago today my husband proposed to me, just over 6 months ago it came to an end. We never know what is around the corner. I'm very thankful for the good years we had. It at least allowed a seed to be planted. Whether it grows or not only time will tell. Each one of us is given a chance to choose our Father's way or turn our back on it. I'm just so very thankful for the strength that can be found when I'm willing. I can honestly say I'm doing pretty well for the most part now, there's iffy moments now and again but I'm sure that'll happen for quite a while to come! There's such a comfort in knowing that there's a purpose to everything and it's only for our betterment that things happen, even the really tough experiences. I know i'm repeating myself but there's no way I could be where I'm at unless Dave had disappeared. As strange as it seems, although i love the guy dearly and miss him, it's probably the best thing that could have happened to me spiritually. I still don't know what's in store for Christina and I. My business is very slow still but with conventions coming up and preps starting in a month that might not be a bad thing!! I'm looking forward to being able to do more there this year and that will only be possible if business stays slow. On a side note I'm able to sit in my chair in the living room and see fireworks from the street behind us. It appears there's a new person on the block because that has never happened before! Pretty when they set them off but the cats aren't so happy about it because it's pretty loud since it so close!!