Rose Parade, B-Day, Fathers Day...

All are within one week basically. Today was the parade. It was a tradition with us to get up nice and early and drive in so we could have a good place to park and to sit. We decided not to go and besides that Christina had a fund raiser thing for SkillsUSA at 11am, right in the middle of the parade. I was very surprised how hard today was. I guess those tradition things get you! Luckily that really is the only tradition day we had that wasn't connected to a special day. Now comes my birthday and then Fathers Day.  Dave was the one that gave me my "main" present and Fathers Day speaks for itself. It sure makes me thankful for the comfort that we can have spiritually. It's such a struggle to keep the mind from dwelling on scenarios. Some days I have real good success, other days (like today) a horrible time. I think the devil knows when the bumps will come and jumps right in at the most vulnerable time. I keep picturing the thoughts being booted out and they keep creeping back in. GRRR!!! My thoughts keep going back to the shield of Faith. Deeper and deeper trust in our Father, that's one of the keys. He knows and plans the way.
I am frustrated with the lack of work, no matter how hard I try. And various means that I go about seem to not do anything. One of the CPA's I talked with said that they're letting people know and I know other's have as well. So I guess it's still not time for things to happen yet! There seems to be an occasional blip where something just seems to "work out". Not job wise but just kind of a step in allowing something to happen, kind of like winning 500 free business cards at a networking event last week. I needed those cards and it just kind of worked out. So I guess I need to stop the impatience and just let things work the way they will. I can't stop doing my part job wise but when things (or I am) ready to go then the ground work is laid. I do believe part of it is that I'm still not completely ready. It's amazing how there is a definite process, naturally speaking, that people go through in times of trauma. Having that help spiritually definitely helps, helps you get over each step quicker, but it DOESN'T stop the step by step process from happening. That's really where we can show our love to our Father and develop a deeper relationship with Him and His Son.

Next step

I truly thought most steps had been taken in this process but it hit me yesterday while I was mowing the yard that that isn't so. :(  There's a reason I've been having trouble getting completely motivated for work. If I am to be completely honest with myself it has to do with hoping that Dave will pop back into our lives and I won't have to worry about working full time to make ends meet. So now I need to work on that. I know that there's a good chance that even if he were to eventually show up that it could be years before it happened. I know my husband. So now comes the getting my heart and mind to the point where it's completely accepted. This up in the air part is very hard to get over. Everytime I think I'm over the hump I realize that there's still a ways to go. My deepest hope is that our Father would use me in whatever way is most profitable and that my husband would allow that seed that was planted over the last few years to grow.

5 months....

It's hard to believe that it's only been 5 months. It really feels like much long then that! We're pretty much into a normal routine now. Unfortunately business pretty much stinks. As I've said many times before, there IS a purpose for the way things happen. I'm not sure the purpose for me getting no new accounts but I know it'll become obvious down the road. There have been a couple of opportunities that have seemed VERY promising only to fall through and not happen at all. So time will tell! At least I do know that I have a Father that will always be there for me. That helps tremendously!  And I have some absolutely wonderful friends that have been there the whole way. So thankful for them! Never thought I'd be where I am after only 5 months. Life does indeed go on and with Faith we too can go on with the assurance there is One that will always be there for us and love us.