Focus....

Three months. It's been a real roller coaster of emotions. I sometimes allow myself to start dwelling on the what if's, or to worry about Dave but all that does is start tying my insides into knots. There's not a thing I can do about any of it. Is Dave miserable? I've got to think he is and if he doesn't make things right with God it really scares me where he'll be but all I can do is pray for him. Pray that he'll allow God to do his work in his heart and life.  When life is done all that's going to matter if we're right with God. No relationships will matter, no job will matter, it won't matter how much money I have or how many possessions I have, just if I've been willing for God to lead my life. That's the perspective I've been reminding myself of the last few days. It's helped a lot in taking some of the tension away. There's just way too many unknowns right now to do anything but focus on allowing God to lead my life. Each day I do what I can and set up appointments for the coming weeks. But knowing what's going to happen with my business, where we'll be even a month from now financially or personally, not a single clue. But God know so that needs to be good enough. Naturally I much better off then many in this world regardless of what's happened. I still have my family minus my husband, still have my health, a roof over my head, a absolutely wonderful, caring circle of friends and most of all God in my life. It's all about focusing on what REALLY matters. BUT it's sooo very easy to get mired in the negatives that are going on. I prayed a lot last year that i would learn patience.... this year I'm praying that I have the strength to be have patience necessary to get through an experience where only patience will work.  I also prayed and still do that whatever it takes for Dave to accept God would happen. I would have to say both those prayers are being worked on at this point.  I just want to be willing to accept the answers to my prayers, even when they lead me down paths that I would never have imagined.