A bit of mourning

I really felt like there was mourning going on this morning. I do believe buckets of tears were shed in the process. It's like he's died and yet we really don't know if that's the case, probably a decent chance he hasn't died. I wish he were here but the chance of that happening any time soon at this point is about zero. Knowing his stubbornness it could even be a few years if he's still around. Depression cause people to do such STUPID things! So life goes on, we go thru the stages of completely losing somebody, and learn to live a life on our own. Not what I ever thought I'd have to do at this stage in life. It's hard to get the mind convinced that he's well and truly gone. I'm very grateful for Drew today. She took me out and about, that helped a lot. Looking forward to meeting tonight. And then we'll see if the new medication gets me a decent nights sleep.