Not just about me, speculations.....

I've just been basically writing about my own side of things, how I see things when I've looked back over time etc. My heart aches for my mother-in-law. She's lost her only son. This is someone that she raised, on her own because Dave's dad died when he was three. This is someone that she loves like she loves no other. And now that son is just gone. Losing a husband is bad enough but losing your own child in this way.... My heart aches for his Aunt Pat and Uncle Frank and his Aunt Brynn, his cousins. Losing a nephew/cousin that they love very much. The just not knowing, it's so hard on the family as a whole. 

A lot of my speculations are based on knowing Dave and snippets of conversations I've had with him. But that's what it is, speculation. Most of it I feel fairly comfortable with. Is it because it helps me feel better that I feel comfortable with those conclusions? I don't know for sure really. Only Dave and God know for sure the whole process that caused this to happen. I feel fairly comfortable in saying he's alive somewhere out there. I also feel fairly comfortable in saying that I believe that he really regrets the extreme nature he took in leaving, I'd like to say he regrets what he did period but again only him and God know. I know that there are changes in me that wouldn't have happened, or would have taken years to happen, if Dave hadn't left. I'm sure it's done the same for others. So the process has been for gain. Dave is a really good guy deep down and I'm praying that sooner or later that will cause him to contact us at the least, if nothing else for his mom and daughter's sakes. We all love him dearly and no matter what has happened that is not going to change. In the end we need to leave it in God's hands, and that can be so very hard to do.